


when worlds collide

by starworm



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: BAMF Peter Parker, Bisexual Peter Parker, Gay Harley Keener, Gen, M/M, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Mid-Credits Scene Compliant, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Rated teen for language, Sassy Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, also morgan hasnt been born yet but, he is very capable and snarky, i killed may im so sorry everyone, if i continue this as a series she will be yeet, irondad and spider son but they have banter, oh also peter and nat are homies because thats a god tier friendship, one tiktok reference sorry legends, peter has a crush on harley uwu, peter is strong and intelligent and really good at fighting, peter parker says fuck, thats our boy, the blip was two years not five, theyre all good bros ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24293926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starworm/pseuds/starworm
Summary: When Peter was stressed, he liked to hang from the ceiling. His life may be entirely unpredictable, but the one thing he knows for certain is that his Parker luck is consistent.//In which Ned decides it's a good idea to do their presentation on Spider-Man. Tony insists on helping (for educational reasons, totally not to embarrass him), Harley gets way too involved, and Peter goes through all the stages of grief in 0.5 seconds.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 35
Kudos: 529





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> sup everyone, I love the field trip au's but they're so overdone but the idea of Peter dealing with his life as a genius/jr varsity avenger/basically Tony's son overlapping with his life as the acadec nerd at smart kid school is so fun so here we go. also yes I did get the title from the tiktok sound with the spongebob audio.

When Peter was stressed, he liked to hang from the ceiling. 

He didn’t just consciously decide to, the habit just developed when he began pacing one day and found himself standing upside-down after unintentionally climbing up the wall. It was kind of nice, he had to admit. Nobody could really reach him, and his head felt clearer when he was upside-down. Normal humans couldn’t stand to be upside-down for so long, but he was, you know, _enhanced._

His ceiling hang-outs usually calmed him down a good seventy-five percent of the time. This _situation_ was not one of those times. 

Sitting from the ceiling, he let his mind wander, inventing every single worst case scenario imaginable. He closed his eyes and suppressed a sigh. 

_Parker luck, man. Never disappoints._

See, normal high-schoolers enjoyed missing school. An unexpected day off was like, Christmas or something. But when _Peter_ missed school, it usually did not mean a day off. 

Make no mistake, Peter _loved_ missing his boring, too easy classes for Spider-Man things—like that one time in Germany or the mid-level alien threat he got called on a few weeks ago—but the other, less exciting side of that was missing for Spider-Man related injuries. 

Peter didn’t really love dealing with injuries, but he couldn’t complain. Getting a little beat up was just part of the job, and he had a pretty awesome healing factor. 

He thought back to the unnecessarily long lecture turned heart to heart he had with Tony a while back. They had come to an agreement _finally_ about the whole independence thing. 

Tony’s argument was basically _you’re a kid, I already feel bad putting you in this position_ please _let me keep you safe._ Which, yeah Peter understood that, he understood that under all the snark, Tony had a huge heart and was fiercely protective of the people he loved. 

But. 

Peter shot back something along the lines of _legally I’m not an adult but I’m genetically mutated from a radioactive spider bite and I’ve had a building dropped on me and I’ve been to space, fought a psycho purple Titan who wanted to end the world and then I died in space and then I was manipulated by another psycho on my summer vacation and almost had my super-secret-identity exposed. Also I’ve almost died like, a million times. I’m a kid but also there’s no chance in hell I can be a normal kid even if I wanted to. Also I heal super fucking fast. And I can literally bench like, several tons and outrun Captain America. Please stop with the baby monitor shit._

So, they came to an agreement. Met halfway, sort of. Tony stopped with the whole helicopter dad on crack stuff if Peter promised— _I swear on Spider-Man’s dead body. Not funny? Shit, sorry_ —to ask for help when things got dicey. 

It was actually nice, the balance they worked out. Sometimes it sucked, like when Peter couldn’t swallow his pride or when Tony couldn’t swallow _his_ pride. But for the most part it was awesome. He got trusted with more serious missions and his very own operations. 

_“Tony. I’ll ask for help if shit hits the fan. I swear.”_

_“No. You’ll ask for help_ before _shit hits the fan. There will be no shit hitting these fans.”_

_“Yeah, sure.”_

These days, Peter was better at asking for help when it got too serious (though he made sure Tony knew he hated it). What he still struggled with was waiting it out. And he knew Tony was genuinely concerned about him, but he still liked to poke fun. 

_“Pete you’re stressing me the fuck out_ please _just let yourself heal for one more day.”_

_“Aw, I knew I spotted some grey hairs.”_

_“FRIDAY, add bug spray to the shopping list.”_

* * *

Everything had gone wrong on Wednesday. Patrol had started off simple enough. He fought off a handful of regular muggers, stopped yet another Grand Theft Bicycle, and returned a lost chubby golden retriever to his owner. The dog's name was Chewie and Peter had _literally_ never met anything cuter. 

Pretty regular stuff. 

It was nearly eleven, just an hour before his weeknight curfew—he’s one of the strongest human beings on the planet and he has a _curfew_ —when things got a little dicey. 

He had been swinging around to kill time. He always avoided going home too early because he put up quite the fight against his curfew and didn’t want to admit defeat. 

_“Come on Tony, none of the other ultra enhanced super-humans have to be in by midnight. Deadpool doesn’t have a curfew.”_

So he stayed out even if there wasn’t much action. 

Karen’s scanners were coming up dry, which like, okay _good_ there’s less criminals wrecking havoc but Peter wished for a little more action. He was about to call it quits and slowly swing on back to the Tower, when Karen alerted him of a situation in a nearby warehouse. 

He immediately routed the quickest path, and dropped in on eight shady looking guys, all armed to the teeth it seemed. And a hostage. 

It was some sort of arms deal gone south, as the hostage was an undercover cop. Who, unfortunately, was not so undercover anymore and was about to meet the business end of the sick looking weapon that the big, sweaty, tattoo-covered man was brandishing. 

“Hey guys,” he greeted the thugs cheerfully. “I don’t really know how you do things here in Manhattan, but in _Queens_ we like to treat our guests a bit better.” 

He webbed up the gnarly looking gun. “Like come _on,_ at least give the poor dude a comfy chair. Maybe some snacks. Some music, you know.” 

The men tried, Peter will give them that. They really, really tried to fight back, but he wasted no time webbing up the dudes before they really knew what hit them. He freed the officer, who looked at him with a confused expression, like he was still trying to process the last few minutes. 

“Sorry those assholes blew your cover, man. Better luck next time!” 

He threw up a peace sign to the undercover cop and swung out of the warehouse, just as backup arrived. 

Once he was out of the general vicinity of the warehouse, he found a perch on a random rooftop. He quickly had Karen assess the state his body was in: a few bruises from lucky punches and a couple of standard-issue lacerations. Probably a couple broken ribs. Which is really no big deal, the usual for spider-themed vigilantes. Broken ribs always sucked in the moment but usually healed in a few hours if he slept and ate enough. Pretty basic stuff. What _wasn’t_ basic were his five gunshot wounds. 

Maybe that’s why the officer looked at him like that. It’s not every day you see someone take five bullets and walk—swing—away fine, even if that person is sticky and wearing a red and blue spider costume. 

_Really man, you had to shoot me five times?_

Peter’s healing factor was amazing. Like, super advanced. But the _slight_ issue was the fact that there were three bullets still lodged somewhere in his body. Thankfully, there was an exit wound for two of the shots. 

Digging bullets out hurt like a bitch, and even worse on his own. It was especially terrible considering the fact that his healing is super accelerated but not smart enough to not heal _around_ the bullets that are unfortunately stuck in him. 

He briefly considered shooting a text to Ned asking for an extra pair of hands, and DIY-ing this shit in Ned’s bathroom. It _could_ work. It's definitely been done before.

It would go either of two ways: Ned would either geek because, _oh my god dude that is so badass,_ or freak the fuck out because watching Peter dig through his already healing skin would be kind of disgusting. Ned was hit or miss like that. 

He hesitated though, remembering his promise to Tony that he would let him help. Peter would definitely feel bad leaving him out of the loop on this one. It’s not like a gunshot wound—or five—was a big deal. But it would be really nice to use the equipment from the medbay instead of whatever Ned had in his bathroom. Plus Tony’s hands were _way_ steadier than Ned’s (not that Ned would offer to be the one playing go-fish for bullets in Peter’s skin, Ned would solely be moral support). The decision was obvious. 

By some miracle, he made it back to the tower with no interruptions and decided to count it as a blessing. The worst was yet to come, anyway. 

FRIDAY informed him that Tony was in the lab, so he dragged himself in and braced for the inevitable freak out. 

“Hey guys,” his voice came out way weaker than intended and it hurt to talk. _Damn you, broken ribs._

As if it was choreographed, Tony and Harley whipped around and if Peter wasn’t in pain—and already _so_ over the lecture he was about to receive—it would've been funny. 

Harley’s expression was one of absolute horror. Poor guy still wasn’t used to seeing Peter turn up bruised and bloodied, no matter how many times Peter assured him it was fine and his healing factor would take care of it.

Truthfully, he didn’t realize Harley was in the lab until he saw the guy. His senses were a bit off, considering his injuries and his exhaustion. He would’ve probably waited or called Tony if he knew, because poor Harley _just_ recently found out about Spider-Man and it was all kind of new. 

Also, Peter had a huge crush on Harley. Not that he’d ever admit it. Tony would absolutely embarrass the hell out of him and he may be able to bench several tons, but he was _not_ strong enough to handle Tony fucking Stark embarrassing him in front of the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen. 

Tony was currently staring at Peter, wearing an expression that he had dubbed the _“What The Hell Peter”_ face. It was a combination of worry and frustration that most of the other Avengers would make fun of him for because it was so _fatherly._ They called him Iron Dad. It was epic.

“Please tell me those are _not_ bullet wounds.” 

Peter winced. “I mean I would but I don't believe in lying. It doesn't hurt too bad, if that makes you feel better?” 

Harley looked like he was going to projectile vomit on the lab table. “I’ll get the first aid kid from the medbay.” 

“ _Please_ tell me the bullet is not still in you.” 

“Bullets. Just three though. Funny story so—” 

Tony groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re trying to kill me.”

* * *

After lots of swearing, some crying (Harley would never admit it, but he shed tears), and a late night pizza order, Tony decided to call Midtown in the morning and inform them that Peter was sick—strep throat, super bad.

Peter was put on strict bed rest until his healing factor took care of the broken bones and the bullet wound completely. So like, basically all of Thursday. 

He shot MJ and Ned a quick text in their groupchat, explaining what went down, what the cover story was, and asking for the lecture notes and homework assignments he was bound to miss. They wished him a speedy recovery and promised to send him the work. MJ only insulted him _once_ so she must’ve been pretty worried. 

So Peter was left alone, stuck in bed for most of the morning. Tony came in around eleven, helping him move to the couch so he didn’t feel too alone or get too stir crazy. 

Tony understood him like that. He understood how damn _lonely_ Peter got sometimes, even though he attempted to hide it. It had been a rough time, with May having passed from a sudden, terrible illness during the Blip. It felt unfair. Peter _knew_ life wasn't fucking fair, but the universe taking him out of existence and then killing the only remaining member of his family slowly and painfully while he was just a pile of dust on an alien planet, unable to say goodbye seems _really_ fucking unfair. 

But Tony and Pepper had been there for him without question, ready to take him in. During the Blip, they had been there for May. It hurt him, thinking about the two years he missed. There were good days and bad days.He struggled talking about it, and Tony never pushed him, but was always lending an ear. 

Peter had always seen Tony as a father figure. After the homecoming incident of his freshman year, he spent a lot more time working with Tony in the lab, and eventually just spending time with him in general. After the battle with Thanos and the Blip, Tony had become even more fiercely protective. It took a lot of time to adjust, and it still hurt, but he finally felt a sense of normalcy. He finally felt at home again. 

* * *

Thursday didn’t suck. He got to hang out with Harley, who was in New York on break from MIT. 

They were the same age, Peter having turned 17 right before the start of his senior year and Harley beating him there by just a month and a half. Harley had opted to graduate early to attend MIT. He spent most of his free time in New York, helping Tony and Peter work on new projects and suits. 

The day went surprisingly fast on the couch. His bullet wounds were still a little sore and tender, and his ribs were still giving him trouble, but at this rate the pain would be mostly gone by Friday morning and he should be allowed back on patrol by Sunday at the latest—he hoped. 

Friday morning, he felt fine, albeit a little sore. 

He woke up and threw on sweatpants and a MIT t-shirt, then went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. His morning was slow and relaxed as he had nowhere to be. 

Around lunchtime, Nat joined him on the couch, striking up a friendly conversation. The two of them got along so easily, and Peter could tell it was shocking to the others. Like, this _trained assassin_ who is _extremely_ _guarded_ is friends with a _teenage spider nerd?_ Wild as can be. 

Peter loved it though, his friendship with Nat was easy, but she kept it incredibly real with him. Plus, she liked to train him in hand-to-hand combat, which was super fun. Also extremely difficult. Nat was a certified badass. 

After sharing lunch with Nat, and playing cards for a bit, she headed off to the training room—the room Peter was explicitly banned from until further notice. Bored again, he decided to text Ned, who would have just gotten out of their government class. 

Peter usually enjoyed that class, but lately, they’d been covering stuff about the blip. They’d been talking about the two year gap and the battle and the “galactic politics” that went into play leading up to it all—but like, really, Thanos was just a dick. It was so surreal to Peter to be learning about the battles and the stones as a _student_ when he actually lived the whole thing out, had actually battled the titan firsthand, yet he had to sit and pretend he had absolutely no clue. He could tell Ned had trouble not busting out “ _PETER_ FOUGHT THANOS IN SPACE” every time, and he was surprised Ned had made it this long. 

_PeterMan: hows school_

_Guy In The Chair: DUDE_

_PeterMan: dude?_

_Guy In The Chair: GUESS WHAT_

_PeterMan: ???? what_

_Guy In The Chair: okay so like you know how the city is doing that “heroes week” thingy_

_Guy In The Chair: to like honor the avengers_

_Guy In The Chair: thats literally YOU oh my god what is your life_

_PeterMan: uh i think i remember an announcement_

_PeterMan: ...why_

_Guy In The Chair: ok ok ok so like in gov we got this project right_

_Guy In The Chair: and we get groups and we basically like get assigned an avenger or one of the other heroes from the battle and make a presentation abt them_

_Guy In The Chair: and like talk abt their impact and stuff_

_PeterMan: we’re partners right pls say yes_

_PeterMan: i hate group projects if i have a different partner i may just go get shot or kidnapped again to avoid it tbh_

_Guy In The Chair: yes ofc_

_Guy In The Chair: also what the fuck peter no_

_Guy In The Chair: anyways they let us pick our hero today gUESS WHO WE GOT_

_PeterMan: idk if i can do one on like. bucky he would bully me._

_PeterMan: dude if we got nat she would actually go undercover as a substitute to watch our presentation id never live that down_

_PeterMan: ned if you picked tony i’ll kill u_

_Guy In The Chair: so good news i did not pick any of the above_

_PeterMan: omg did we get thor pls say yes_

_Guy In The Chair: we’re gonna get an a bc we both know the subject REALLY well_

_PeterMan: wait ned pls dont say what i think ur gonna say_

_Guy In The Chair: so uh i mightve picked spiderman_

_PeterMan: DUDE_

_Guy In The Chair: in my defense flash really wanted to do spidey but i got called on to pick first and he doesnt deserve you so_

_Guy In The Chair: plus im your guy in the chair so legally you cant be mad at me_

* * *

After sitting in shock for several minutes, he video called Ned. As he stressed out over the assignment, he paced. Sometime during his pacing, he walked up the wall and began pacing the ceiling. Ned had gone silent, amazed by the fact that Peter was video calling him from the ceiling, which was so weird. Ned’s seen all his freaky spider shit, why he still geeks out is kind of confusing to Peter. 

With a promise to email him the rubric and work on the project over the weekend, Ned ended the call.

So Peter found himself on the ceiling, thinking about how his life was _over_ . Like so, incredibly _over._ He had absolutely no idea about how to make a presentation about _himself_. He also didn’t have a fucking clue about what regular people knew of the battles on Titan and at the Compound. Or even about Spider-Man. 

This was absolutely batshit crazy. Parker luck never fails, he honestly has to admire the consistency. 

He had no clue how long he had been wallowing up there, crouched down with his head in his hands. The world was tuned out, all he could hear were his thoughts. 

Until a shout and the sound of a coffee mug dropping to the floor snapped him out of it. 

“Holy shit dude,” came Harley’s voice, still kind of startled. 

Peter shrugged, meeting the other boy’s eyes. “Sorry. I keep forgetting that spider stuff is still kind of new to you.” 

“No, it’s just,” the blonde gestured wildly, almost at a loss. “You’re on the ceiling.” 

“Well, yeah.” 

Harley looked like he was about to say something, but Tony’s voice calling from the stairs cut him off, “Harley, what the hell did you break another mug? Is everything okay?” 

Harley did not answer, he continued to stare at Peter, who was now standing on the ceiling. Tony continued rambling on, something about _fourth mug this week_ , as he made his way into the common area. Tony abruptly cut off when he saw Peter. He snorted, turning to Harley, “He does this sometimes.” 

“...Right” 

Tony looked up at Peter, “What’s wrong kid?”

“Nothing.” His voice was too high. _Damn it Parker, he’s not gonna let this one go._

“FRIDAY, how long has Spiderling been up there?”

“Three hours, Boss.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow, “Nothing, now?” 

Peter was so, totally screwed. Tony was never gonna let him live this down, but if he doesn’t spill, he’s never gonna stop bugging him about it. He sighed and flipped off the ceiling, landing in front of Harley. 

Peter was almost glad for a chance to show off, even though this was an embarrassing situation. 

“Okay, it’s not like, a big deal. Just a thing.” 

“A thing?” 

“...Yes,” Peter sighed. 

Tony’s eyes narrowed, “And exactly _what_ kind of thing? A Spidey thing?” 

“I don’t know. Yes?” 

“The kind of _thing_ where you should come to me for help?” Tony was staring into Peter’s soul now. “ _That_ kind of thing?” 

Peter glanced over to Harley with an expression that read _help me please,_ while Harley was looking between the two of them, trying to understand what was happening. “No, god no. It’s just—Tony it’s literally so stupid.” 

The man huffed out a laugh, “Kid you look miserable. I know you like to sit on the ceiling when you’re stressed out. What’s up?” 

“Promise you won’t laugh,” he demanded. He turned to Harley, “You too.” 

“Scouts honor,” Harley cracked a smile. Tony just nodded. 

Peter narrowed his eyes at the pair, “Can you either pull me out of school or send Ned to space, like, indefinitely?” 

Tony started, “Kid wha—”

“Okay so they’re having us do this stupid fucking thing where we like, honor the heroes who fought Thanos. Which is super sweet and cool and everything. Except I have to participate obviously, and it’s fine but it’s so weird to hear them all talk about it, I was like, right there, you know?” Tony was grinning while Harley was just nodding along. “So I got shot right, and you decided I had to skip school which is _fine_ even though I didn’t need—” 

“Yes you did.” 

Peter glared at his mentor and continued on, “Anyways so we’re doing this project thing? And we have to pick a hero to make a presentation about. Which is already _weird_ . But fucking _Ned_ picked fucking _Spider-Man._ And now my life is over.” 

It was quiet for a beat, then Harley had the _audacity_ to laugh. It was a short, loud bark of laughter. Peter felt so betrayed by himself because it was _cute_ but also, Harley was a traitor and now an enemy. He glared at the other boy. 

“ _Dude_ this isn’t funny I have to present a project about _myself_ to my entire class and none of them—” 

He was cut off by Tony absolutely losing his shit. Laughing so hard it looked painful. Harley joined him, unable to hold back anymore, while Peter stammered. 

“Guys, _guys_ come on. Tony I’ve changed my mind, uh, I wanna graduate early. Right now.” 

The two of them wheezed, occasionally gaining their composure, then catching sight of a floundering Peter and absolutely losing it again. Tony caught his breath, “FRI—FRIDAY,” he barked out a laugh, “Send Ned Leeds an invite, tell him to bring his little project. Oh, and order some pizza.” 

_Parker luck really hits different,_ he thought to himself. 

* * *

Peter stared miserably at Ned, who was conspiring with Harley and MJ—who was here for some reason, probably to sketch Peter’s suffering—on how to make his life hell. It was ironic for him to think he was surrounded by idiots, considering how he literally was in a room with the man who invented _time travel_ and saved the universe. 

He had enough experience with space to last a lifetime, but now he prayed to _anyone_ that he’d get beamed up and now have to do this damn project. He briefly considered contacting some of his off-world friends—acquaintances?—to come save him from this. _Hey Mr. Lord, it’s the other Peter… Parker. Sorry I said Footloose isn’t good. Wanna come pick me up from earth? School fucking sucks._

He had learned that being in space _was_ an excused absence. 

“Hey kid,” Tony called from across the lab. “You still with us?” 

Peter groaned. “I wish I wasn’t.” 

Harley grinned at him, all bright and excited and mischievous. His dirty blonde hair was disheveled, falling in his face. He looked so good. Harley was lean and muscular, and he wore a grease stained SI shirt from a day spent in the lab. His calloused hands ran through his hair, pushing it back into place. Damn him, it wasn’t fair. 

Peter was in a crisis. MJ was living for it, glad to have something to sketch. 

“Listen, we have the coolest idea _ever_ Peter,” Ned was basically vibrating with excitement. He began to pace excitedly, “Okay, so you know how freshman year I accidentally told everyone you’re friends with Spider-Man and nobody believed us?” 

Peter narrowed his eyes, “ _Yes,_ Ned, I do remember that. That was like, so not cool.” 

Ned letting that little piece of information slip during freshman year had been like, the worst thing ever at the time. Peter liked to keep his school life away from everything else. He’d always been kinda in the background, never really calling attention to himself outside of academic performance—he had to flex _somehow_ —and the Stark Internship thing threw a wrench in that. People were either unbelievably jealous or just straight up thought he was lying. He used to care about it, used to want to prove them wrong, but he was beyond that now. There were more important things, like _aliens_ and evil supervillians and stuff to handle. 

He didn’t care to explain his whole life to the people at his school, because the attention would mean being under a microscope. He flew under the radar for a _while_ which was really nice, and lucky considering how Ned had absolutely no filter. But it kind of all fell apart after Europe. He had trouble explaining why Tony Stark’s head of security, who worked with—not for, Happy would throw a fit—Spider-Man showed up to personally save _his_ class. 

It wouldn’t have been such a _thing_ if Flash didn’t make it a _thing_ . He was geeking. So naturally everyone asked questions. And Peter, who at this point was so _so_ tired, had to come up with answers. He said it was the internship, which _yeah_ okay it was technically the truth because Spidey was the internship. 

But May had died during the Blip, and when Peter came back, he found out that she and Tony had decided that Tony would take guardianship if the illness progressed. Things got complicated.

At this point, Peter didn’t really care what people at school said. As long as none of them made the connection to Spider-Man. Flash had become tolerable, sometimes even funny during AcaDec, and Brad had fucked off too which was definitely a plus. 

Ned shrugged, “Sorry man, your life is too cool. What was I supposed to say?” 

“Not that?” 

Harley and Ned grinned at each other, MJ continued to furiously sketch. Tony laughed from across the lab, not looking up from whatever he was now working on. “Listen to this plan, Underoos. It’s actually kind of genius.” 

Ned looked like he was gonna black out as he whisper-yelled, “Tony fucking Stark called me geinus I’m gonna start crying.” 

Pulling a face, Peter shook his head. Whatever this plan was, if Tony, embarrassing pseudo-dad, thought it was good, Peter knew he’d probably hate it. 

Harley grinned, “Spiderboy, have you ever done an interview?” 

A beat of silence. Ned and Harley’s eyes bore into him. MJ smiled deviously, and continued her drawing. Then, “Hell no. They’ll recognize my voice!” 

Tony scoffed, still not looking away from whatever he was tinkering with, “Kid, you insult me. You really think I can’t change your voice? I’m wounded.” 

“You can’t be serious!” 

He met Harley’s eyes, pulling a face that said _please let this be a joke come on._ Harley just smirked. “I’ll go get the camera stuff. Ned type up those questions.” 

Ned was practically buzzing. “This is gonna be the coolest thing ever. We add voice modulators to your mask, right? Then we record us asking the questions, and then you answering them. It’ll be epic.”

He hated to admit it, but it was actually a cool idea. It would save Peter from having to stand in front of everyone and present a powerpoint about _himself_ . Plus, it’ll give them an excuse to share facts about Spider-Man that the general public doesn’t necessarily know, like _details_ about the battle. 

Peter kind of hated how good of an idea it was. He sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes. 

“Fine, Ned. It beats making a powerpoint.”


	2. two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley darted in front of the camera, his hands mimicking a clapboard. “Interview with Peter-Man, scene two, take five. Action.”  
> Ned cleared his throat. “So, Peter—”  
> “Ned! Again?” Peter waved his arms wildly.  
> “Fuck—shit sorry. MJ you’ll edit this out, yeah?”  
> “Dude you literally have one job.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmaybe its 3am but its chill here's the last chapter! i got super stuck and struggled writing the video part so i kinda copped out and just did parts of it, idk it felt forced otherwise. hope yall enjoy :)

Peter sat on a stool next to Ned. He was facing an expensive looking camera. The camera was pointed towards the lab, in front of a long, floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the city. Behind the camera, stood Harley. The blonde was grinning like an idiot as he adjusted settings on the camera. Peter thought he looked cute, then immediately hated himself for thinking that because Harley was an instigator in the _project_ debacle. 

Otherwise known as Operation: Embarrass Peter Parker. 

Ned cleared his throat, “Okay so here’s the plan…” as if he hadn’t gone over the plan at least a thousand times already. 

The thing is, Peter had expected Tony to get involved, even though he dreaded it. People who didn’t know Tony Stark would be extremely confused as to why he’s so involved in a high school government project, about superheroes or not. But Tony was a caring mentor, and always wanted to be invested in Peter’s life. He was also a giant pain in the ass sometimes and loved to pull shit like this. It wasn’t like the traditional “parent embarrassing kids” stuff, like showing baby pictures or whatever, but Tony knew that Peter tended to undersell himself at school. He flew under the radar, or tried to, and never really boasted about his achievements. And Tony Stark being, well, Tony Stark did not vibe with that. He seemed to have made it his personal mission to make Peter show off to his classmates. It was sweet. And fucking annoying. 

The thing that really threw Peter for a loop was _Harley._ Harley was so incredibly invested in this whole thing, and his excitement was adorable.

 _Shut up Parker,_ he thought to himself. _Stop fawning over the boy who’s assisting in your demise._

Harley’s involvement changed things, because Ned and MJ _know_ about his crush. The pair kept giving him knowing glances at Harley’s comments like _“oh Peter that light is perfect don’t move, Peter you look great on camera, you’re a natural darlin’,”_ and Peter was about to explode. MJ had seized the moment to interrogate Harley about his love life as Ned was going over the plan for the seven-hundredth time with him, and Peter’s enhanced hearing let him hear _every single word_. 

The real kicker was the fact that the plan didn’t actually suck. It _was_ awesome, in a _“I'm kind of exposing myself but it'll be funny to see everyone's shocked faces”_ kind of way. Peter cursed himself for actually liking it, but he remained stubborn with Ned. He didn’t want to admit defeat. 

It was simple. Peter and Ned were going to be presenting a “powerpoint”—literally just the title slide—on video in the lab. Tony was going to _accidentally_ come across them, and they _accidentally_ forget to stop filming when they explain their project. Then Tony, the _genius,_ has the brilliant idea to actually interview Spider-Man because, _“C’mon kid, you have his number and he’ll always do a favor for a friend.”_ Of course, Tony had to ruffle Peter’s hair and mention he was _personal friends_ with Spidey. Typical. 

As they wrapped up the intro section and Harley checked over the footage, Peter made his way across the lab to Tony’s workspace. He bumped shoulders with his mentor. 

“I know what you’re doing.” 

Tony smiled slightly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“All the—” he gestured to his friends and the camera. “All of this. Always trying to like, make me show off.” 

“Because that’s you, kid. You know, yesterday Nat showed me a Youtube video that was literally called _Spider-Man’s craziest moves and funniest one-liners._ The video quality was _shocking_ but that’s not the point.” Tony turned to lean back against the table and sniffed. Peter learned that Tony tended to do that when he’s voicing emotions. “In the suit or not, you’re brilliant Pete, the assholes in your class should know it.” 

Peter snorted, “Brad wouldn’t know brilliant if it bit him on the nose, you know.” 

Tony bumped his shoulder, then gently shoved Peter’s head. “When you run this company and lead the Avengers one of these days, none of those kids will know what hit ‘em.” 

“Awww you’ve turned into such a softie, old man.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, then he cleared his throat and clapped his hands twice, quickly. “Go suit up Underoos.” 

* * *

Peter rolled his eyes under the mask. He felt ridiculous, but Harley’s grin and cheeky thumbs up was cute, so he didn’t hate it that much. 

The group had gone through a list of questions that Ned and MJ brainstormed based on the project’s rubric, selecting the ones that Peter felt most comfortable answering—nothing too specific about Titan, Peter didn’t want to relive those memories too vividly at all. 

There were perks to being a genius, superhuman, vigilante. There were also downsides. Waking up in the middle of the night, shaking from an all too real nightmare was _definitely_ a huge downside. And _yes,_ Peter was a kid. But he had grown so much from when he first got his powers. Fourteen year-old Peter, swinging around in the onesie and still getting used to having _superpowers_ was an entirely different person than seventeen year-old Peter. 

It was funny, in a bitter sort of way, to consider that what Peter had already lost at fourteen was nothing compared to now. His parents, his uncle, and now May. The countless times he had almost died, and the one time he did, only to be brought back two years later to a hopeless battle and a world that had fallen to pieces. He had almost lost Tony. 

Tony and Peter were very alike in regards to intelligence, quick wit, and appearance. But Peter knew it went deeper than that. The pair had a very similar way of coping. They avoided it. Masked it with snark and humor. Stayed awake, working themselves to the bone in the lab to avoid the nightmares that come with sleep.

Some days were good, some days were bad. Peter had a good support system, though he often hated talking about it all. Ned and MJ were incredible, always there for him even though they’d never understand exactly what he was dealing with. And May had been too… 

Talking to Tony was different, it always had been. He understood more than anyone could. He knew when to step back and let Peter have space and he knew when to push and prod and not walk away. It was a little sad, considering his understanding came from shared experience. 

Some good days, some bad days. All part of the job description. 

These days, he was able to talk about Titan without feeling himself crumbling to dust all over again. Not too many details, but he was getting there. 

* * *

So here he sat, suited up and facing Harley, MJ, and Ned behind the camera. Ned looked more excited than a kid on Christmas, and Harley was grinning like an idiot. MJ looked bored, but she had a million different varieties of her bored expression. This one more-or-less translated to: _I’m actually thrilled to be here but I’ll never admit it._ Peter found it endearing. 

Harley darted in front of the camera, his hands mimicking a clapboard. “Interview with Peter-Man, scene two, take five. _Action.”_

Ned cleared his throat. “So, Peter—”

“Ned! Again?” Peter waved his arms wildly. 

“Fuck—shit sorry. MJ you’ll edit this out, yeah?” 

“Dude you _literally_ have one job.” 

MJ scoffed. “We all knew you’d eventually give away Peter’s identity but this is just too easy.” 

“I will _not,”_ Ned protested. “Harley, stop the video.”

“Harley, don’t stop the video.” MJ demanded, holding out her arm. “I wanna keep making fun of Ned.” 

“Yes ma’am,” he nodded, clearly fighting to keep a serious face. Then he met Peter’s eyes and the pair burst into side-splitting laughter.

* * *

Between Ned’s identity exposing slip-ups and Peter’s and Harley’s random laughter, MJ had a lot of editing to do. It took them ages to wrap up the shots in the suit, then even _longer_ for Peter to record himself asking _himself_ questions.

In the end, MJ’s editing was brilliant. She had Peter record himself saying some questions that Ned had asked and added in little conversational bits to the final cut. It sounded incredibly natural, as if Peter really was off camera and not _in the suit._

When Ned and MJ finally returned home, Peter collapsed on a sofa in the lab. He was _tired._ Not a bad kind of tired, just worn from the day. He closed his eyes, letting his mind wander, only snapping out of it when a wad of paper came flying towards his face. He caught the ball without looking, earning a frustrated huff from Harley. 

“What do I have to do to catch you off guard, Spidey?” 

Peter cracked open one eye. “Keep trying, Keener. It’ll never happen.” 

As Harley groaned and rolled his eyes, Peter tossed the wad at the other boy, catching him right on the forehead. Harley glared. “I’ll get you one of these days, just you wait.” 

“I won’t hold my breath.” 

Tony chuckled from across the lab, “Don’t try to beat the Peter-tingle, Harls. It’s a lost cause.” 

“Tony _s_ _top_ calling it the _Peter-tingle_ , you’re worse than Happy.”

* * *

The weekend passed quickly. Saturday was spent mostly in the lab, until Spider-Man swung back into action after Peter argued and bargained with Tony for what felt like ages. Tony insisted he wait until Sunday, and while Peter always liked to avoid the puppy-eyes, desperate times call for desperate measures. 

_“Fine. Don’t be stupid. And be home by one.”_

_“Yes!”_

_“But so help me god, Peter Parker if I have to dig another bullet out of you tonight you're grounded till you're thirty. I need at least three to five business days before I do that again, capice?”_

Harley headed back to MIT late Sunday morning, with a promise of returning as soon as possible. After he left, Sunday was quiet. Peter spent some time sparring with Bucky that afternoon while Tony answered _important_ emails—Pepper insisted they were important, Tony had to disagree. 

Monday morning was a rush. Peter overslept and barely had time to shovel food into his mouth before meeting Happy at the car. He couldn’t exactly skip breakfast, FRIDAY wouldn’t let him leave until he ate. She was _such_ a narc. 

The day passed quickly, and government class rolled around before he knew it. He sat at the back of the classroom, situated between Ned and MJ. His fingers rapidly tapped his desk, trying to channel his nervous energy. His mind was racing. Best case scenario, this presentation ends up embarrassing and attracts a lot of attention while worst case scenario, everyone guesses he’s Spider-Man and his life is over. 

In Peter’s opinion, MJ’s presentation on Captain Carol Danvers was the coolest one. She _somehow_ managed to convince their teacher to let her do a group project without the _group_ , and insisted that she present a female hero or not do the assignment at all. Classic MJ. The rest of the presentations were actually entertaining, because nobody in his class actually knew what they were talking about. 

Ned nudged him in the ribs, whisper yelling, “Is that what _actually_ happened?”

“ _Dude_ shut up,” he paused for a beat. “Not really, though. We didn’t just like, blip back upstate, Dr. Strange did his weird orange sparkle thing and we were all like _hey wha_ —” The kid in front of Ned shushed him, glaring at the two. Peter shrugged. 

When it came time for him and Ned to go up, he was just ready to get it over with. After a brief introduction, Ned dimmed the lights. 

* * *

The video opened to a blonde boy standing in front of the camera. He held his hands up as a makeshift clapboard. The boy wore a mock-serious expression.

“Interview with Spider-Man, scene one, take two. Action!” He ducked out of frame. 

[cut]

The camera focuses on Spider-Man sitting in a light grey armchair, his head tilted slightly to the left. Behind him was a window, showing a view of the city far below.

A voice off camera spoke first, “Hey everyone! This is Peter Parker with Ned Leeds from Midtown High. We, uh, had a project to do over Spider-Man,” on camera, Spider-Man flashes a peace sign. “But To—Mr. Stark thought it’d be cool if we interviewed him so the information would be, like, super accurate.” 

[cut]

The screen is black, with white text reading _One Hour Ago._

[cut] 

Peter and Ned sit on either side of a screen, the title slide reading _Spider-Man_ in red comic sans. 

As Peter begins to introduce the topic, he’s cut off by a voice off camera.

“Kid, what are you doing?” Tony Stark walks within the frame. 

“Government project.”

“About Spider-Man,” Ned chimes in. 

Tony hums. “What’s with all...” he gestures to the powerpoint slide. 

“Tony. It’s a _powerpoint_.” 

“Thanks,” he said drily. “Never would’ve guessed.This the thing you told me about where you have to talk about his _impact_ or whatever?” 

Peter glances over his shoulder, “That’s the one.” 

“Why don’t you just, I don’t know, _interview_ him?” 

Ned elbows him and whisper-yells, “Oh my god.” 

Tony ruffles Peter’s hair, “C’mon kid, you have his number and he’ll always do a favor for a friend.”

“Oh my _god_ Peter—”

[cut]

The camera is once again facing Spider-Man, who is in the same chair as before. 

A voice off camera starts, “So uh, Mr. Spider-Man, sir…” there’s an uncomfortably long pause. Then the voice returns, “Hi.” 

There’s whispering in the background, _“Ned, dude get it togeth—”_

[cut] 

  
  


* * *

During the video, Peter tried to look nonchalant, but the gaping faces of his classmates were hard to ignore. Part of him loved it, but most of him hated it. He was so wrapped up in trying to appear more chill than he actually was, that he didn’t notice MJ recording him from the back of the classroom. 

After class, he darted out of the room as fast as he could, not really wanting to put up with the onslaught of questions and attention. The rest of the day passed uneventfully, save for a few curious stares and whispers. 

_Yes, I actually know Tony Stark. Yes, I actually “know” Spider-Man. Yes, I know Spider-Man is ripped. No, I won’t give you Thor’s phone number, even if he had a phone._

* * *

Patrol after school that day was a relief. He felt free. The cool wind blowing on his face and the feeling of flying through the city cleared his mind of all worry. 

He found a perch on a high rooftop. “Karen, what’ve you got for me?” 

“There seems to be a jewelry store robbery three blocks over, police have not arrived on scene and there are five civilians being held hostage.”

Peter grinned and took a running leap off the rooftop, letting himself free-fall for a moment before slinging a web and taking off in the direction of the shop.

When he arrived on the scene he snuck through the door, taking in his surroundings. There were four masked thugs, two were pointing their guns at the hostages while the others ransacked the shop. 

Peter whistled, “Looking for a new statement piece, boys?” 

All four men whipped around to face him, one pointing his gun at Peter. “Great, we got the spider freak’s attention.” 

“Hey now, no need for name calling.” He took a step forward. “But really, did you lose an earring or something? I wouldn’t sweat it. A wise woman once said: _Kim there’s people that are dy—_ ”

The thug at the register grunted. “Shut him the hell up, will you.” 

Peter huffed in mock frustration, “Oh come _on._ Bad guys these days never wanna chat.” He shot a web at the gun pointed at him, successfully knocking it away. “I mean, you guys are like, _so_ fucking boring.” 

The man yelled in frustration and charged at Peter. _Bad move, dude._

Peter flipped over the man and grabbed him from behind, then threw him across the shop and webbed him to the glass window. _Too easy._

He zeroed in on the other armed man, who turned to point his weapon at Peter. _Good, away from the civilians._ The man shot, but Peter dodged it with ease, then quickly pulled the gun out of the man's grasp with a web. Once unarmed, the group's confidence dropped drastically and Peter made quick work webbing them down. The lady at the register kept thanking him, which _duh_ of course he was here to help. She also begged for a selfie, which Peter happily obliged to. 

Hey, he was a _friendly_ neighborhood Spider-Man for a reason. 

* * *

Around six, he made his way to the penthouse for dinner. He wanted to stay out a little longer but his accelerated metabolism had other ideas, plus Tony ordered Thai, which was always his favorite. 

By the time he reached the tower, he was starving and barely had the self control to change out of the suit before devouring his three takeout containers. 

As he sat at the table, recounting his patrol with Tony, he checked his phone. 

**_Nerds+MJ_ **

_MmmJay: hey loser_

_MmmJay: [video]_

_PeterMan: mj? sending tiktoks?_

_PeterMan: i feel so honored this is an incredible moment_

_Guy In The Chair: lmao_

_MmmJay: clearly you havent watched it yet_

_PeterMan: wh_

_PeterMan: what do u mean_

Peter furrowed his eyebrows, clicking the video. 

The video was of a poorly lit classroom, taken from somewhere in the back row—clearly filmed by MJ herself. It slowly zoomed in on Peter standing uncomfortably by the projector screen, which displayed a video of Spider-Man. 

Peter made a small noise and turned up the audio, nearly choking at the sound MJ had chosen. 

_When worlds collide. You can run ...But no can hide. When worlds collide you'll laugh so hard you'll swear you've d—_

“Oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” 

**_Nerds+MJ_ **

_PeterMan: mj u cant post that_

_PeterMan: if u do im legally obligated to kill u and i dont want that on my conscience >:( _

_MmmJay: dont worry loser i wont post it till you reveal your identity_

_MmmJay: but after that im sending it to ellen so be warned_

_PeterMan: bold of u to assume that sound will still be relevant then_

_Guy In The Chair: shut the fuck up peter spongebob is always relevant_

Not even an hour later, _somehow_ Tony had obtained the video. Traitor. Then _someone_ sent the video to Rhodey. Who showed it to Nat. Who sent it to the entire team. 

Then, Peter received a text from Harley. 

_Harls: hey_

_Harls: cute video_

_Harls: bet ur peter tingle didnt see that one coming huh_

_PeterMan: im blocking you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly got stuck, wrote up a timeline to like. build this universe. and then whipped out the rest of this chapter in an hour. i'm gonna like. continue this universe and actually delve into the characters how i wrote them here and yeah. it'll be fun. please lemme know what you think! thank you for all the love on chapter one, i reallyyyy appreciate it.


End file.
